The Piggy Bank Metaphor

2k or not 2k

Things were planned well in advance. It was decided that dinner should be served not later than 7 p.m. to all round protests from my family members. That morning I took a trip to Sarojini Nagar market to pick up a monkey cap, a pair of gloves and a muffler. On the way I drop by at a pathology laboratory asking them whether they have any old used chest X-ray films available. The lab staff looked baffled. But when I explained the reason, they all laughed and handed me two instead of one. With my scooter filled to the brim with petrol paid with my last remaining old 500 rupee note, I was ready for the night.

The previous day I realised that all my old illegal 500 and 1000 currency notes which I have kept folded and hidden in an old worn out envelope from the prying eyes of our in house Income Tax Authority- my wife, has been completely exhausted. Thanks to demonetisation, after so many years of avoiding them, I was able to re-connect with my relatives, friends, foes and flames. So many trips I made on my scooter to meet them in the hope that I can keep on refuelling my scooter each day to end up the cash in hand. The rest went in paying electricity and telephone bills- first time I had paid before the due date.

As realisation dawned that no longer I can stay away from the snaking queues, horror sinks in. But with my many years of experience of queue jumping I know how I can beat them in their own game. You just need to be in the queue when rest are not- after midnight. The goodies I picked up from the market that morning was to beat the Delhi winter and the X-ray sheet was to act as a winter proof Shield for my cough infested chest.  With dinner done by 7.30 p.m., I went to bed with the alarm set for 11.30 p.m. I informed my wife that I will have to go out in the night for an urgent errand. In spite of explaining that it has nothing to do with some other woman in my life, she started crying and making a scene to the surprise of both my kids.

As the alarm buzzed at 11.30 p.m and the clock struck 12, I put on my monkey cap, inserted the X-ray film between the thermal and the sweater in front of my chest to protect it from the biting Delhi cold, put on the piece of paper with the list of all ATM’s near my house which I have mapped diligently the previous day, gave a kick to the scooter and disappeared into the night like the Batman in search of some new crisp notes. My first target was the ATM just around the bend from the road, but the shutter was down. Not to be dejected, I went to the next one based on the list I had prepared the previous day, but that was also closed. I kept on following my list, but to my horror none of them were open.

For the first time I felt a fear going down my spine. Am I being fooled by the Banks in believing that ATM’s stands of ‘Any Time Money’? But my determination took me to the next neighbourhood. To my delight there in front of me basking in the glow of the neon light from the street is an ATM which was open and not a single human in queue. A wicked smile went across my lips and I thought of those poor souls who had to stand in the queue the whole day and returning home dejected when their turn came. And here I am in front of this beautiful machine, its glittering screen welcoming me and the card slot blinking green like the ‘Green Goblin’ in the Spiderman movie. I inserted my card into the slot, entered the amount, the machine made some whirring sound and I waited in anticipation. But suddenly the whirring stopped, the machine made some snorting noises and a message appeared ‘Temporally out of Service’. I thought that it has malfunctioned. Again I tried and again it made the whirring noise but no money came out. I gave two kicks to the machine thinking ‘Jugaad’ will work. But it seems it’s a perfect case of lot of noise, but no action.

ATM after ATM I went, but either all of them were shut or there is no cash in them. Tired and hungry, I looked at my watch and it was 3.30 a.m. I have been out hunting for an ATM with cash for almost three and a half hours. I stopped at a tea stall to fuel me up. There was a group of youngsters who were having tea and talking about cash and ATM’s. Seeing me, one of them asked, ‘Uncle you are also out on ATM hunting like us? Don’t worry you are not alone. Nowadays people are either standing in queue or sleeping during daytime so that they can again stand in queue in the night.’ Hearing this I felt tired and defeated. That means I am not the only one who think is smart. Dejected and my body no longer able to withstand the early morning fog and cold, I decided to call off my misadventure.  When I saw my face in the bathroom mirror with the black monkey cap, I felt like a robber who is trying to snatch someone cash illegally from ATM’s in the night. But the irony is that it’s my own money and for it I had to struggle so much.

I woke up pretty late that morning with a bad headache and cold. Slowly I walked into the living room to see my wife watching on TV our finance minister speaking about going cashless.  I jumped on to the sofa and listened intently to his advice for all Indian’s to go cashless. I told my wife, ‘See I told you that acche-din will come. India is doing away with all its cash. We will again go back to our old tradition of bartering goods and services instead of paying in cash. I don’t have to stand in queues any more’.